A slightly different blogpost today: an album review, made at the request of my cousin Mike.
Mike challenged me to listen and critique after I
confidently asserted that, like everything else involving the Beetles frontman,
it would be painful to listen to and spectacularly overrated. McCartney’s
croaky rendition of ‘Hey Jude’ closing the 2012 London Olympics ceremony was,
for me, the final proof that he has joined that rank of old male performers
who, having lost the vocals years ago, ought to be mercifully put out to grass.
Nonetheless I like a challenge, so for Mike and anyone else
concerned to know my recommendations, I decided to comment on each track,
nervously uncertain as to whether I’d emerge still simply having a wonderful
Christmastime, or so traumatised that I’ll still be recovering when I’m
sixty-four.
Ah the things we do for family!
Long Tailed Winter Bird
The opening number is without doubt the most soul-destroying
start to an album I’ve ever heard. A nice, simple guitar solo at the beginning,
seems to go on and on, creating the anticipation of leading into a rich rock
number.
The only expectation the subsequent offering actually
fulfils is the growing realisation that the piece is to be nothing more than a
mindless repetition of a tune so simple I recommend it if your 5-year-old is
starting her first music lessons.
There is some reprieve: a weird falsetto singing of the
song’s only lyrics: “Do you, do-do, do you miss me? Do you, do-do, do you feel
me?”
Just once in this sequence are “feel/miss” replaced with
“trust” which is perhaps the full extent of variety within the song.
What does any of that have to do with winter, or birds?
That’s a good question, although a brief series of howling sounds following the
singing is perhaps meant to give the song its seasonal, avian flavour. If it
were intended to sound like a turkey realising it’s about to end up becoming
someone’s Christmas dinner, it’s vaguely convincing.
Find My Way
A slight improvement on the opener, this song features more
vocals from McCartney, who flips seamlessly from sounding like the pub drunk to
a shrieking man who has been hit by something hard and painful in the sensitive
area.
The lyrics are marked by the same trite banality, clearly
written to fit the tune, rather than for their own depth.
“I know my way around, I walk towards the light,” he sings.
“I'm open 'round the clock, I don't get lost at night.”
As for the tune, it does have a very contemporary rock feel.
It’s simple, but as McCartney reaches the culmination of his chorus, an
orchestral element is added in at low volume, creating a slight element of
surprise and intrigue.
This song feels like a lost opportunity: with better lyrics,
a better singer, and some more surprises in the arrangement, it might have been
half decent. There are just hints of possibility, as it is.
Pretty Boys
The theme of strange lyrics continues in this track, which
has a soft ballad feel. IT focuses on the idea that pretty boys are like
“objects of desire” which are nice but ultimately shallow.
It is, to be fair, a more meaningful tune than those
proceeding it, and it’s melody is somewhat melancholy. A guitar playing over
light drumming gives it a pleasant feel and creates a sentimental warmth.
McCartney’s vocals remain scratchy and out of tune – even
some autotuning effect at the end doesn’t rescue them. It’s the sort of song
the last man stood at the karaoke machine might be singing when everyone else
has gone home and staff are tactfully hinting that it’s time to lock up.
Women And Wives
This song sees the early focus on the guitar swapped for
piano, as a steady accompaniment keeps the tune going. The melody has an
unexpected switch from F to G-major, which as a technical feature of the
composition, I appreciated.
Any technical wins on the composition front are, once more,
negated by the most dreadful lyrics. The opening line reads:
“Hear me, women and wives; hear me, husband and lovers.”
Nothing that follows explains the switch to the singular for
the husband. It makes it go from sounding like a rubbish song, to sounding like
a rubbish song with a grammar mistake.
The real problem with this song is that there is nothing
memorable about it, in its tune or bland words.
Lavatory Lil
What the hell? I’m no clearer at the end why this song is
thus-named, other than because the alliteration sounds good.
Nonetheless, absurd though the words are, I do think this is
one of the better tracks on the album for the musicality.
Whilst the drumming starts out with a thumping beat, it
subtly switches to create a less hard sound in the middle.
The guitar once more takes centre-stage, to good effect.
This is likewise true for the bass, which marks each beat
with a chromatic downwards scale, so that as the song moves from its A-minor
base key to E, it has a dramatic feel.
This is not a song I’d rush to put on any playlist, but it
deserves praise for a good beat and memorable tune.
Deep Deep Feeling
Guitar and piano feature prominently in this rather long
song which, despite its oddities, works surprisingly well.
Beginning with McCartney singing about a “deep, deep feeling,”
the music has a constancy that bores into one, perhaps like the nagging, aching
pain of breaking up. Background singers nicely support McCartney with “oh” and
“hey” to add an interesting effect.
As these sentimental musings conclude, the instrumentals
take on a trembling, shaking sound, which is clever.
IT then changes key, moving to a much richer sound, as
McCartney sings of how he wants the emotion to sometimes stay and sometimes go
away.
Finally returning to the original theme, all the elements are
blended together with echo added, perhaps to symbolise the mash of feelings
coming in and fading out. As this slows down and the time signature changes, it
feels like the song will come to a grinding end.
Just when you think it’s all over, the key parts are sung
again, this time over a simple acoustic guitar solo. It seems like an
afterthought, but sometimes it is the weirdness, rather than the logic, that
makes music work.
This is a strange song, but words and music come together
really well and, I must admit, I like it.
Slidin’
The words of this song are, as with many others, a bit off
the wall. It’s a dragonfly, describing the knowledge that it can fly but
acknowledging the perils of so doing.
“I'm slidin', glidin' through the air; I can see my body
through windows in my hair.”
Yet this tune is all about the sound: McCartney’s vocals are
loud, shouty, yet echoing and overwhelmed by the music.
The vocal production is a masterclass in what you do with a
good artist but a dodgy singing voice. David Bowie was especially good at the
artful use of out-of-tune vocals. I can imagine him singing this.
The vocals work well with a wall of sound. For anyone who
appreciates a booming electric guitar, this is the song for you!
This song is really good.
The Kiss Of Venus
But for a nice instrumental in the middle, much of the song
is a gentle ballad sung over a floating, melodic guitar accompaniment.
It’s the sort of song that might be okay in a relaxed bar as
background noise whilst people chatter away and sip their drinks, but it’s not
a song you’d want to concentrate on to any great extent.
McCartney attempts to sound sweet and romantic, but his
voice lacks the dexterity to pull off gliding, buttery vocals. HE just sounds
pained and strained throughout, and to be honest I know the feeling!
Seize The Day
This song is largely inoffensive. It’s a soft rock number,
with a predictable sound that doesn’t take much to get your head around.
It has surprisingly good vocals, at least when compared to
the pitiful ones up to now.
It also has a nice key change in the middle, with very good
vocal harmonies. Indeed, it finishes in A-flat, which due to the E-major base
key that is largely maintained throughout, gives an abruptness to the end.
Overall, it’s a jolly little song which I’d consider an
album highlight because of the vocals.
Deep Down
This song should be a good listen, attempting as it does to
bring in a range of instruments from woodwind to guitar and organ.
The trouble with it is simply that the tune, which aptly
starts with a horrible wailing sound, is unrelentingly boring.
Status Quo famously stuck to 4 simple chords, yet managed to
produce memorable tunes to get you tapping your feet. This attempt at similarly
simplistic music fails utterly to reproduce any of the Quo’s magic.
Once again, this droning, miserable howler of a tune is
supplemented with lyrical tripe.
“Wanna get you up, gonna take a bite, gotta let me know, we
can throw a party every night.”
McCartney is too old to be throwing parties every night, and
he’s too experienced to be churning out garbage like this song.
Winter Bird / When Winter Comes
The strange title reflects the song’s commencing with the
same guitar solo as the opening song, but it slides into a floating folkish
song about the chores to be done on land with crops and animals, and expressing
the desire to escape winter.
The song is nice. It’s not especially sophisticated so it
works okay for a voice that doesn’t hit every note right.
It is a rather strange, sedate song to close an album, but
perhaps not a surprising choice for an album that is disjointed and rather all
over the place.
The song, like the album, would probably hint at one-hit-wonder
potential if heard at an audition, but it’s probably stretching it to say
anything more generous.
What I can say is that I remain of the view that Paul McCartney is one of the most overrated artists in history. He’s produced an album of modest successes mixed with some shattering failures and I don’t think I’ll be rushing to listen to most of these songs again.
A comprehensive and honest review of the banal warbling of St Macca. Just as I expected the overrated one has achieved mediocrisy once again. Thank you Aidan for taking on this challenge. I wouldn't wish Macca on my worst enemy so you have truly 'taken one for the team. I'm sure others will have a different view, hero worshipping the so called legend of rock but for me your review has reinforced my long held view that he should have stopped at the Frog Chorus his finest work lol.
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