Sunday 19 April 2020

Many of our elderly will forgo an excess of compassion for Bingo and book club.


IF there’s one thing that has always struck me about old people, it is how sanguine they are about their own mortality.
This isn’t to say that they no longer find any value to their lives – though some might not. More often, it is because with age, the ability to run away from death is stripped from us.
Those fortunate enough to make it to their 70s will almost certainly have lost parents, siblings, friends, extended family, former colleagues and even the great cultural icons of the era of their prime.
They will be able to tell you of people they know who died too young. They will be able to tell you of others for whom aging has been less kind and who now experience terrible physical and mental decline but cling to life.
They will know, as only those who have experienced the blunt finality of death can, that life must be lived with urgency. This isn’t an urgency that elicits panic or dread, but calm. It is an urgency that focusses the mind to what really matters – that which brings meaning and joy to a life.

The great exit plan, therefore, that we now know is being considered by the government, offers most of us some idea of when we might see elements of this ridiculous lockdown lifted. The elderly, however, will continue to be restricted and isolated until (or if) a Coronavirus vaccine is found.
Yeah right! The oldies know something that seems lost on anxious Generation Snowflake: most of the time, things really could be worse! It seems very doubtful that, right now, there are old people sitting alone contemplating their fourth week with no human contact and thinking how grateful they are that we’re doing our bit for them.
Indeed, they are probably dismayed that their younger relations have now been so utterly convinced that they would be signing their execution warrant if so much as a shoe were to step over the threshold! What, they may well be wondering, is the point in protecting a life by not allowing one to do any actual living?
I would have every sympathy for them. It seems nobody has ever asked them what they actually want. That’s before we even get into the thorny question of whether a 60 year-old who is overweight, has lung issues and is diabetic, should live under less restrictions than their 70 year-old neighbour who is a picture of health.

There should be support in place for any elderly person that wishes to self-isolate, along with anyone else who is considered to be at high risk. However, it must not be forced on them, especially when the virus is still with us indefinitely.
We must ensure that stigmatising those who don’t, and the younger folks who visit them with their blessing, does not become a feature of what people are calling the ‘new normal.’ They’ve paid into the system long enough. It’s likely that accumulated wealth will be raided so that the extraordinary amount of government borrowing can be paid down without all the burden falling on struggling businesses and the income of the working age population.
So, I think they’ve got the right to decide for themselves where the balance sits between longevity and quality of life – and we just might find that many of our elderly will forgo an excess of compassion for Bingo and book club!

2 comments:

  1. I absolutely agree. My last living grandparent is extraordinarily healthy physically and mentally, and has the inner resources to accept that living is a constant risk, but that it is vital to live in a meaningful sort of way to the greatest extent that you can. I am very sad to think of those who have to dutifully fester away indoors for a greater or lesser part of the last period of their lives, who, if we would just calmly accept their choices, could be free to live how they want, *with* the threat of death that they understand far better than most. Very sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. Beautifully put. Wishing you and your grandparent all the best.

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